Introduction

Hi fellow humans,
Welcome to this blog!

My name is Nathali and I have ADHD, I have a son with ADHD and two other boys (we suspect our youngest is also an ADHDer but more on that journey later!)

I didn't always know I had ADHD... you see, I'm not, or wasn't really, a hyperactive child.
At least not enough to raise a concern.
BUT! I was very very much so a "weird" kid. Chatty, messy, smart but unmotivated, always losing things and forgetting important stuff... Barely graduated high school and eventually became a college drop out. Yup. Parents were super proud!! 🙄
 I made it unto adulthood by sheer luck, got married at 21 because, HELLO IMPULSIVITY! and had my first kid at age 21.
Fast forward 10 years, I had two other kids (yes, same baby daddy, still married!) and here I am today, writing a blog.

What really, brought me here?
It all started a few years ago when I had my first panic attack. It was 2016, I had 2 toddlers and a newborn, I was a stay at home mom, in a tiny 2b apartment.
My life FELT like it was getting out of control. The panic attacks kept happening but like every other mom out there, Aint nobody got time fo dat!! I had 3 kids to take care of!
Eventually, my oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD after a few months of therapy and going back and forth with pediatricians, teachers, etc. (That's a whole story on itself and we'll get back on that on a different post.)

So, here I was, a neurotic mother, trying to learn about ADHD and how to parent my child and dealing with therapies and medication and all that... while having panic attacks and anxiety on a daily basis. I finally decided that it was enough and got myself a Drs appointment.
The diagnosis: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder and Depression. SUPER FUN!!

I started on medication and therapy and it did help, but it wasn't enough, I was still struggling, I was still feeling like I couldn't get my shit together and the chores began piling up and as the mess got bigger, my depression got worse.
I got to the lowest point in my life when I decided to self-harm. The ER wrote it down as a suicide attempt but it wasn't. I didn't want to die, I don't want to die, I just wanted to not feel like that anymore.
That was my rock bottom.
Thankfully my husband found me and not my children, thankfully the blade wasn't sharp enough to do serious damage, thankfully my husband went to check on me and found me.
I was ashamed. I felt guilty. Stupid.
I decided to seek help from a neuro-psychiatrist and another psychologist and that's when I found out I have ADHD. All my problems are rooted in my unmanaged ADHD.

 And this is the beginning of MY journey, my ADHD journey.
I'm medicated now and I have regular visits with my doctors... I have already seen the change.
It's a damn miracle what a little pill can do. I am very positive and hopeful for the future and I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Now that you guys have some background, what I intend to do with this project is to bring more awareness to the invisible struggles of unmanaged, undiagnosed ADHD in adults and I hope you share this journey with me!

 Laters;
 N